As mothers we have been blessed with a special job. In addition to, actually above and beyond every other job we have…we are gifted the opportunity to raise a human being. To nourish them not only with food…but especially with love.
The thing is, as mothers, mothering, while it may very well be the most important job of all, it is seldom our only job. For we must first take utmost care of ourselves if we are to impart our wisdom to our next generation.
And while self-care is crucial, all too often I witness it falling near the bottom of the endless lists of priorities we mothers task ourselves with.
After all, we have houses to tidy and clean. We have laundry to stay on top of. We have dog doo to pick up…gardens to plant and tend…oh and the car could use a vacuum (like 6 months ago). There is grocery shopping to be done and food to prep. Oh but this takes money…so we better be sure we’re pulling some of that in too. And…while on the topic of money…because we love our children and we see the value in involvement, we have hockey games and practices and dance lessons and piano lessons and gymnastics classes to shuttle them to and from.
I believe the proverb “it takes a village to raise a child” originated in Africa. So…let me see if I’ve got this right (and please, forgive any ignorance as I’ve never been to Africa…although it is on my short bucket list).. I’d be willing to bet that African women take huge pride in their space. Their houses may not look like ours structurally..but they are homes nonetheless. And I bet they’re tidy. As for laundry to stay on top of…I think that looks a lot different than the mountain I pile onto my bed every couple of weeks when I’m feeling brave enough to tackle the chore of putting it all away. And about the grocery shopping…do I need to go there? Ok..and the hockey and dance and piano and gymnastics etc. I don’t think I need to go there either.
So why then do they need a village? Seems they’ve got all the time in the world.
I believe it’s because a village offers more than help with the mundane tasks that western mothers have weighted themselves with. The village is a support system. A safe space. A multigenerational sisterhood where women share stories and wisdom and lessons and experience. Where there is no judgment. Only love.
While a village may or may not clean your house and do your laundry or scoop your dog’s poop or scoot your kiddies to their extracurriculars. A village will be there when you just need a break. A moment to breathe. To laugh. To cry. To scream. To rejoice. To rip your hair out.
I’ve been thinking a lot about villages lately. And there comes a time when thinking must become doing.
So here is my call to ALL MOTHERS…..I need a half hour of your time. Trust me when I say…I KNOW HOW PRECIOUS YOUR TIME IS. I have a few questions for you…in the name of building a village. I promise it will be painless and relatively effortless. In return for your time, I offer you the peace of knowing your help will help other mothers.
So if you are a mother who wants to help other mothers lets chat. I’m not ageist. A mother is a mother, whether your child(ren) are in diapers…or have long ago flown the nest. I want to talk with you. Click here to share your wisdom.